Optimized Woman: Use you Optimised Abilities each month to create the life, well-being and success you desire!
Why the menstrual cycle and women's well-being and relationships?
The Optimized Woman


The Optimized Woman by Miranda gray

The Optimized Woman
Using the menstrual cycle to achieve success and fulfillment. By Miranda Gray

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Optimize your sex life - free your four sex drives!

We tend to think of our sex drive as sometimes being ‘high’ or ‘low’, but we actually have four very different types of drive which we experience in turn each month.

The reason why so many of us aren’t in tune with our sex drives is that we don’t know what to expect, or how to recognise them. When we do recognise these different sexual energies we can let go of unrealistic expectations and simply enjoy all the varied sexual experiences they bring.

In order to free these four sex drives, we need to know when they happen, what they are like, and what we can do to enjoy them fully.

In our monthly cycle we naturally experience four separate phases; ovulation, pre-menstruation, menstruation and pre-ovulation, and each phase is characterised by a different type of sex drive. This explains why we aren’t consistent in the type of sex we want. Whether we want quickies, loving sex, kinky sex or spiritual sex, depends on the phase of our cycle.

So how do we recognise these different sexual drives within ourselves? How can we enhance them, enjoy them and experiment with them?

We need to overwrite the single linear self-image we have (thanks to society) and birth a new one which contains four positive and empowering phase-related self images. We also need to remind ourselves of these self-images, so that when the going gets tough and we forget who we are we are reminded that beneath the stress, the tiredness, the expectations and responsibilities we are the beautiful and powerful embodiment of womanhood expressed through the phase we are currently experiencing.

The pre-ovulation phase:

The pre-ovulation phase sexual energy can be thought of as like that of a young maiden, and we find representative images of this type of sex drive in mythology in stories of sexy, dynamic, independent virgin goddesses. These goddesses are out to have fun and party; they are not worried about commitment or starting a family.

This ‘Maiden sex drive’ is characterised by a fun and light-hearted approach. We feel more athletic and energetic after menstruation, and may be more sociable and outgoing. Sex is not an emotionally deep experience, but a great way of having fun. We may be more flirty, and are much more likely to sleep with a guy on a first date!

To free this sex drive, have fun! Let go of your responsibilities and play. Imagine that you are an independent sex goddess, so make eye-contact and flirt with guys. Dress up in sexy ‘body-icing’ – frilly white underwear - to make you feel ‘virginal’.

You will want sex for fun, and naturally don’t want long and emotionally deep types of sex. Have loads of ‘quickies’, but on your terms - remember you are gorgeous, and could have anyone!

Ovulation phase

Around ovulation, our sexual drive naturally changes, becoming gentler, more nurturing and more relationship-focused. We find depictions of this type of sex drive in the numerous stories of Earth goddesses and Mother goddesses. These women are voluptuous, strong, and very sexy. This ‘Mother sex drive’ needs emotional expression and loads of physical pleasure, and demands commitment from our sexual partners. Sex at this time also strengthens our own emotional commitment to our partners.

To free this sexual energy, bring some love, romance and sensuality into your sex life. Tell your partner you need to be pampered, wined and dined before he’ll get sex! Your sex drive will make you want conversation and sharing, and loads of delicious foreplay before sex to feel fully satisfied. Make your bedroom romantic with flowers and candles, and don’t rush sex; take your time. Choose sexual positions where you can each see each other’s faces, and use the times between sex to caress and hold each other.

During this phase you may find yourself more attracted to men who can offer you stability and security, so beware if he proposes to you; you are much more likely to say ‘yes’!

Pre-menstrual phase

After the ovulation phase comes the pre-menstrual phase, which can bring the most difficult sexual energy for women to enjoy. Tied up with physical and emotional pre-menstrual symptoms, we often battle with feeling aggressively sexual, emotionally needy and extremely critical, especially about ourselves.

We find echoes of this sex drive in stories about seductresses enticing gallant knights. When this ‘Seductress sex drive’ is ignored or repressed, we can display PMS symptoms of frustrated aggression or defensive neediness. However, when freely expressed, this phase brings wild, frequent and orgasmic sex.

To free this sexual energy let down the barriers. Let go of the need to be caring and nurturing. This phase is similar to the ‘Maiden sex drive’ but it’s deeper and much more erotic and powerful. Let this extreme sexiness out into your life, and forget you have water retention - your sexual charisma will more than make up for it. Show the smouldering passion that is barely held in check, and know that you could drive any man to wild exhaustion - if you chose to!

As with the ‘Maiden sex drive’, you’re much more likely to say ‘yes’ on a first date, but beware – you’re also much more likely to be attracted by very powerful and domineering men.

Menstrual phase

The fourth sex drive occurs around the time of menstruation, and we find representations of this sex drive in stories and legends that feature a magical, sensual, experienced older woman or wise woman. Unfortunately, many women are reluctant to have sex during this time, so can miss out on very deep and spiritual orgasms.

This sex drive can be slow to rouse, but sex at this time can become a beautiful way of touching the soul of your partner and deepening the love between you. This ‘Wisewoman sex drive’ offers you inner confidence and peace, which enables you to be giving and selfless in your sexual relationship.

To free this sex drive, take your time, without forming any expectations. Enjoy your sensual body, and you’ll find that you’ll want to share it with your partner. Share intimate massages, naked cuddles, lots of eye contact, and languid sex. Don’t worry if you don’t orgasm - you don’t need to.


These four sex drives are a natural part of women’s sexuality, and their timing and expression are unique to each woman.

To fully free these energies, we need to be aware of them in our bodies and our emotions, and then to experience and explore them. By doing this we can be the flirty virgin, the voluptuous mother, the powerful seductress, and the spiritual lover - every month!

If you want to get ahead, get a cycle!

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'The menstrual cycle is the single most powerful self-development and success tool a woman has!'

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